5 LESSONS IN 5 MINUTES
MANAGEMENT COURSE
Lesson
1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his
wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and
runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
next-door neighbor. Before she says a
word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800
and leaves. The woman wraps back up in
the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she
replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of
the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson
2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her
gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly
had an accident. After controlling the
car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing
gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm
129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the
flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed
to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory.'
Moral of
the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you
might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson
3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll
give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I
want to be in the
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want
to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the
office after lunch.'
Moral of
the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can
I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle
and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of
the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and
dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate. Following the sound, the
cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out
and ate him.
Morals
of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your
enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is
your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to
keep your mouth shut!
THIS ENDS THE
5 LESSONS IN 5 MINUTES
MANAGEMENT COURSE